Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Entitled "Um...no thanks" or "These PR people need to get a clue"

I got this in the mail the other day from my credit card company. This was the first thing I saw on it:



Favor? What favor are they talking about? And since when do I go around embracing cards? So I open it up to see this:


"The right card to have, to hold and to use."

What is this? Do they think I married a credit card or something?

And then, "You chose the Citi Dividend Card. So we think you deserve a big hug!"

A hug from whom? From Citi Card? I don't think so. That would be like kissing a rattlesnake. (No comments from the peanut gallery about my affection for legless, scaly animals, please.)

I open it further to reveal this:


In case you can't read the fuzzy print, it says, "Make your Citi Card your main squeeze."

"Instructions: 1. Wrap around torso. 2. Feel warm and cozy."

I got a "hug" in the mail from my credit card company?!?!?!? This is the kind of thing that kids make as gifts for their parents or that lovestruck Freshman girlfriends send their missionaries. What kind of message am I supposed to infer? Let's see..."We are so happy to be the means of increasing your chances for bankruptcy that we'd like to make you feel 'warm and cozy' about it." Hmmm. I don't think that works for me. How about another? "We love your credit score so much we couldn't resist sending you this love note in hopes that we might further lower it!" Mmmm, not a keeper either.

And what is it with the model in the picture? She looks like she couldn't be happier about receiving a paper embrace from a non-person. Should I feel that joyful about this unexpected "gift"? Those hands look a bit suspicious to me. And the background looks like a pinstriped suit that a mafia godfather would wear. Do I want those kinds of hands wrapped around my torso? I could end up feeding the fish at the bottom of the Provo River.

But as long as I have my Citi Card, I'll have the assurance that a paper arm will reach down and pull me out. How comforting. Makes me all warm and cozy just thinking about it.

10 comments:

This is me said...

Um, Citi Cards need to hire a new Ad Agency. And quick. That was bad, real bad. My husband and I both got birthday cards from our car insurance company this year. Only his contained a gift certificate for a free bloomin' onion at Outback Steakhouse. WHAT?!?!?!?! And why didn't I get one?!

compulsive writer said...

Two things make me very sad. One, imagining how much the ditz that came up with that ad campaign takes home annually. Two, the advertising $$ that went into such a lame campaign.

Ugh.

Rhymes with hug.

Ugh.

becks said...

if i got a letter like that, i would write the company telling them that i was thinking of getting their credit card until i got their advirtisement. then, i would tell them that they are dumb. okay, so i'm all talk, i would never do that, but wouldn't it be cool if someone did?

Lorien said...

but at least provo river isn't very deep.

always the optimist,
Lorien

Lianne said...

I know how expensive it is to print something like that... watch your interest rate over the next few months.

Man, that is just gross.

Elizabeth-W said...

To follow Lianne's comment, think how much PROFIT they're making to afford that sort of advertising budget!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

citi~rhymes with shi...... Umm, never mind, I know that YOU know, pottymouth. :)

I listen to Dave Ramsey and we've had a plastectomy by refusing to use credit cards anymore. Sadly, it'll be another year or two before we pay off the credit mistakes of years past.

Moi said...

I think you should crochet the ends and make a hug scarf. If you see someone who seems a little lonely, place it upon their shoulders, and VOILA! They're not lonely anymore!

~j. said...

This is one of the best things I've ever read.

Lessel Peeper said...

Are you supposed to wrap it around yourself from the front or the back? Either way, the location of the hands is a better indication of what the credit card companies do to you. :-) (gasp)....