My sister, Karen, took J Boo to dinner a few weeks ago. They went to one of those buffet restaurants, increasing the likelihood that my child might find something that she will actually eat without complaint. Inevitably, J Boo decided she needed to use the restroom. (I know...another potty post, but I am who I am. Don't judge me.)
Karen escorted J Boo to the restroom, which was fairly busy--enough so that J Boo took one stall and Karen had to take another a couple doors down. Karen kept calling out to make sure J Boo was okay. The exchange could be qualified as a MasterCard moment. (Keep in mind that J Boo has only one volume: LOUD. And there are other people in the restroom. And Karen is easily embarrassed.)
K: J Boo? Are you okay?
J: YEAH, I'M JUST PEE-YUN.
K: Ok. Are you done?
J: NO. NOW I HAFTA POOP!
K: Yes, J Boo?
J: I'M KINDA HAVING A HARD TIME. COULD YOU SING ME THE POOPING SONG?*
K: Um, I don't know that song, J Boo.
J: BUT MY MOM SINGS IT TO ME!
K: Well, I don't know it, so I can't sing it to you.
J (sighing loudly): FINE!
(Repeated sounds of grunting--LOUD grunting--eminate from J Boo's stall)
K (absolutely mortified by now and determined not to leave her own stall until the restroom is completely empty, answers cautiously): Yeeees?
J: DON'T I SOUND JUST LIKE A MAN?
*To see the pooping song, go here. Watch from 30:50 to 30:59.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
See this lizard? It represents what I have started to refer to as The Curse. You see, I have this uncanny ability to find things. It's very handy when I'm looking for something important that I have lost, but it's a curse when my children have lost something important that I wish would stay lost. Case in point: about a year and a half ago, J Boo insisted on carrying this lizard around with her EVERYWHERE. As is typical with any small child, she would drop it somewhere in the house and, after several hours, realize she no longer had it on her person. Drama and tragic wailing would ensue, along with, "Find it, Mama!"
Enter The Curse. I would look everywhere I knew she had been playing, and everywhere she could possibly have been playing, and I would somehow find it. Every stinking time. I took her with me to IKEA a while back to meet a friend. As we were walking through the housewares, J Boo discovered that Lizard was missing. Where she dropped it, I had no idea. I was sure it was gone. She was devastated. And when J Boo is devastated, I go into search and rescue mode. We backtracked very carefully, looking down on the floor or on top of the displays. And there it was, a little black from other shopping carts running over it a couple of times, but still in one piece. I could not believe it.
It happens every time. Just two days ago, J Boo could not remember where she left a little toy mouse she had been playing with. We were on our way out the door, and it HAD to come with us. Could she find it? No. Could I find it? No. Or so I thought. On the way out the door, I turned my head back over my shoulder to encourage J Boo to hurry up and...there it was. That damn mousie thing was behind the massage chair.
It's a curse, I'm telling you.