Saturday, February 27, 2010

Parental Satisfaction

First, I need to set the scene for you. A couple of weeks ago, the boys had an extended weekend. Sometimes, as a family, we like to have a movie night on such occasions, but it didn't work out this particular weekend. Atticus was not happy about it. Not happy at all. Sunday evening rolled around and Atticus was trying to convince me, at 9 pm, that he HAD TO get on the computer to finish downloading and converting some video files for his mp3 player.

Atticus: MOOOOooooom, I have 2 minutes left on my computer time! You HAVE to log me in so I can finish this project!

Me: It's bedtime, Atticus. You should have finished this afternoon instead of terrorizing your brothers for fun. I'm not getting you on.

Atticus: But it's all your fault that I didn't get home in time from Grandma's house to get on the computer. Now YOU have to get me on. Because it's all YOUR FAULT!

Phil: Atticus, you're more than welcome to leave Grandma's early, if you need to get home to do something. We're not keeping you there.

Atticus: Nu-uh! You guys were late getting there, and that's why we're so late getting home. It's all YOUR FAULT!

Me: Atticus! Go and get ready for bed NOW! Perhaps, if you are ready quickly enough, I'll discuss the possibility of getting you on for your last 2 minutes, but not if it takes you 30 minutes to get ready for bed like it usually does.

Atticus: Fine! (stomps off in a huff and, miraculously, is completely ready for bed in 6 minutes)

Unfortunately for him, while Atticus finished up his bedtime preparations, I checked his computer time.

Me: Uh, Atticus? You have 43 seconds left, not 2 minutes.

Atticus: But that's enough time to finish what I need to do.

Me: No, it's not. I'm not logging you on. It's late, and you need to go to bed.

Atticus: WHAT?!?!?!?!? You can't do that! We're having movie night tonight, and we're watching Mythbusters on my mp3 player! You promised!

Me: I promised no such thing. I said we might be able to, if things worked out, but they didn't, so we aren't.

He was furious.

(Stay with me now, I'm still setting up the scene.)

I went off to help Sweet Boy clean his teeth. While I'm brushing, I asked him, "So what's this movie night Atticus is talking about you guys doing tonight?"

Sweet Boy: Huh?

I repeated the question and finally got an "Oh! Yeah."

Me: At what point were you two planning to tell me about this, let alone ask permission?

Sweet Boy: We weren't supposed to say anything to you.

Me: Ah. I see.

I think someone is busted.

Back in the kitchen, I ask Atticus the same question: When were you planning to tell me about this movie night?

Atticus: You already knew!

Me: No, I didn't. Were you ever going to ask my permission?

Sweet Boy (to Atticus): You said not to ask her.

Me: HA!!! You are so busted, my friend. There is no way I would log you on to the computer. No way, son. Now go to bed.

All was quiet, I thought, so I went to get myself ready for bed. But then I heard Atticus' voice. I knew something was up, and I was thirsty anyway, so I headed to the kitchen. On my way, I noticed that Atticus' door was wide open. Also, there was a funny light coming from the kitchen.

I walked very quietly into my kitchen to see Atticus and Sweet Boy standing at the kitchen counter in front of my open laptop. Obviously, Atticus had sneaked in to Sweet Boy's room and convinced him to get out of bed to log on to the laptop. (Sweet Boy knows the password, but Atticus does not because he cannot be trusted. A point he brought home, yet again, with his actions.) The boys were facing me, but because the lights were off and they were watching the computer screen intently, they didn't see me.

I walked up to the other side of the counter, not 3 feet away from them, and still, they did not see me. So I exacted my revenge.

Me: {SLAMMING my open hand down on the counter top} What the hell do you think you are doing?!?!?!?

Atticus' knees buckled and his voice cracked as he said, "What the crap?"

Sweet Boy looked up in horror and said nothing.

I started to laugh hysterically.

Me: You are so busted! I caught you red handed! I should ground you both.

Atticus: Oh please, Mom, pleeeeeeease don't do that!

Me: You know, the only thing that is saving both of you from grounding is the look on your face, Atticus. Just remember this: I always figure out what you are doing. Always.

Revenge is sweet.