Monday, February 26, 2007

I'm Haute

Or at least I was for 24 hours last week.

I went in for a thyroid scan. That meant downing 3 capsules containing radioactive iodine and then returning 2 hours later and again 24 hours later to have a huge Geiger counter move up my thigh and over my neck.

Did you know that you can shoot up haute-ness? Yup, they did that to me too. Directly into one of my juicy veins. (Forget drugs--gimme some of that technetium.) I was too haute to touch for 24 hours. Seriously. My doc told me: no extended physical contact, no salivary contact (um, excuse me?), sleep alone, wash your sheets, towels, and the clothes you were wearing as soon as you finish with them, flush twice (because that's how your body rids itself of the radioactivity), and wash your hands frequently. All that haute-ness made for an interesting weekend with lots of jokes from my loving husband.

What were the results, you might ask? Well, not all of my haute-ness disappeared down the toilet. My friends, I, your own (I hope) beloved Sister Pottymouth, have a hot nodule. Not to worry, however. Previous biopsies show that the nodule is benign. I just have to wait for the doctor to look at the scan results before I decide the next step. I may hang on to that nodule for a while. It's not bothering me, and it is my one legitimate claim to "haute-ness."

My only disappointment was that my urine did not glow in the dark.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Where the Sun Don't Shine

In honor of Phil, who (at my request) went in willingly for a colonoscopy last week. He received a clean bill of health.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Quotes for the Week

These are a few of my favorite family quotes this week:

"Oh my soul and garters!" --my 74-year-old mother, commenting on S's Lego creation.

"I will never brake your heart!" --written by my 1st grader on the Valentine he brought home to me yesterday.

"I fart. No, you fart." --my 3-year-old son to S's violin teacher at violin lessons yesterday. [Sorry, ~j, I know you don't like that particular "f" word. I don't like it either, but the child gets "tutored" by his oldest brother.]

And finally, in honor of Valentine's Day:

"I do not want anything that's been printed on a 6-year-old's underwear." --my 10-year-old son, upon being questioned last night about why Superman Valentines were unacceptable.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Tag. I'm it.

My Life. My Card. Because Compulsive tagged me.

My name... almost went to my four older brothers, but they had the wrong equipment to be given a female moniker. And I'm the only child in the family whose name does not begin with "K."

Childhood ambition... (I'm ashamed to admit this one) to be a model. Not much later, thankfully, I decided I wanted to be an electrical engineer. I even took the prerequisite classes at BYU, but then I decided to switch to English.

Soundtrack... "Walkin' on Sunshine" (or whatever it's called)

Retreat... A really good book of fiction.

Wildest dream... which one? I have strange dreams a lot.

Proudest moment... becoming a mother.

Biggest challenge... being patient and keeping my cool with my oldest son.

Alarm clock... goes off at 5:35 am on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays so I can go exercise.

Perfect day... would include reading a good book and going to dinner with my husband.

First job... I did the computer backup for Provo School District for 6 years. It had to be done before 7 am every day.

Indulgence... homemade ice cream, chocolate

Last purchase... groceries.

Favorite movie(s)... Princess Bride, Shrek (1 & 2), Dead Poet's Society, The Emperor's New Groove, etc., etc.

Inspiration... really good music that lifts my heart and makes my spirit soar

My life... is busy.

My card(s)... get paid off every month and give me money back on each purchase. I refuse to be in debt, and I love the irony of my credit card companies paying me to use their cards.

Anyone else want to play? Consider yourself tagged.