Phil was up on the roof fixing some electrical problems. He took "Bob" with him. "Bob" saw lots of pipes sticking up through the roof and wanted to know the function of each one. Phil explained the chimney, furnace vents, and sewer vents. "Bob" was very curious about the sewer vent. (Can you see it coming?)
Phil climbed off the roof to come inside for parts. When he got back on top of the roof, he caught "Bob" in the act of peeing down the sewer vent. (If any of this sounds familiar, it's because Lorien mentioned it briefly in her post about Treehouse Fun.) Pretty ingenious of "Bob," but we had to punish him simply because of the public nature of the pee.
"Son, it doesn't hurt anything to pee down the vent, but it's not a good idea to do it on the top of the roof with your pants down where any one of the neighbors could see."
All this has a point, to which I am coming.
Fast forward to yesterday. "Bob" is in the back yard with a squirt gun and a squirt bottle, shooting water at a swarm of dragonflies. No problem, I'm okay with this. Then Phil arrives home from work. Conversation ensues as follows:
Phil: "Do you realize 'Bob' is squirting dragonflies with the squirt bottle?"
Phil: "So what is that yellow stuff in the squirt bottle?"
Me: (no reply, since I am racing out the door to find out)
I reach the back yard and call out, "Bob? What's that yellow stuff in the squirt bottle?"
(Of course, by the time his name has escaped my lips, "Bob" has made a hasty retreat to the far corner of the house and is madly twisting the sprayer off the bottle and dumping the yellow liquid into the grass.)
Conversation ensues as follows:
Me: "What's the yellow stuff, 'Bob'?"
Bob: "Just water, Mom."
Me: "Water isn't yellow."
Bob: "I poured it out of the squirt gun."
He then proceeds to pour water from the gun into the squirt bottle. The water was, inconveniently for him, clear.
Me: "I don't think so. Was it pee?"
Bob (acting appalled): "No way, Mom! Why would I do that?"
Me (thinking back to last summer): "Because you're you."
Bob: "That's just disgusting! I would never do that!"
Me: "MmmmHmmm. Well, 'Bob,' I can tell you're lying to me. I'm thinking that you peed into the squirt bottle."
His body language is screaming "Lying!!!" this whole time. I'm talking eye darting, avoiding eye contact, everything.
Bob (with a sigh): "Okay, Mom, I did it. But I just wanted to see if pee was toxic to dragonflies."
Me (trying not to snort): "All right, but don't do that again. It's just plain gross."
I wonder what adventures next summer will bring?