Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Snort

I don't know if this is a legitimate story, but I really don't care. It's too funny not to post, especially after our "self-smarted" friend's diatribe.

When Nathan Radlich's house was burgled, thieves left his TV, his VCR, and even left his watch. What they did take was "small, generic, white, cardboard box filled with greyish-white powder." (That at least is the way the police described it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, "that it looked similar to cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time."

Then Nathan stood in front of the TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: "Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago."

Well, the next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained. And there was this note. It said: "Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day."

Sure, buddy . . . no hard feelings.

7 comments:

becks said...

hahahaha! that is so hilarious! i really hope that this story is true. my favorite line is: sorry we snorted your sister. i don't think saying sorry is quite enough, but their punishment i guess is just knowing they snorted the ashes of a dead person.

Julie said...

Becks: that's my favorite line too. Wonder if I could use that in a conversation sometime? Hmmmmm, maybe not.

~j. said...

Reminds me of my favorite line from Better Off Dead:

"Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky."

becks said...

www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cocaine.htm

this website tells a little about this story and the origins.

i would have made it a link, but i don't know how.

~j: i love that movie! that line is a classic! ironically, one of the characters in the movie tries snorting snow and freezes his left arm.

Lyle said...

Considering the lack of ethics in this world, I don't think I could trust a creamator to give me the "right" ashes. Nevertheless, it's a funny story...kind of like the story of the crooks that tried to siphon gas out of an RV and ended up siphoning sewage.

Moi said...

ROFL! That's hilarious! I don't care if it isn't true. I'm gonna use that line one day. Er, not that I snort anything *wipes powdered sugar from her nose*

elasticwaistbandlady said...

That story was so sweet. Especially how Gertrude lives on because now there's a little bit of Gertrude every one of those fine young drug users.