My sister, Karen, took J Boo to dinner a few weeks ago. They went to one of those buffet restaurants, increasing the likelihood that my child might find something that she will actually eat without complaint. Inevitably, J Boo decided she needed to use the restroom. (I know...another potty post, but I am who I am. Don't judge me.)
Karen escorted J Boo to the restroom, which was fairly busy--enough so that J Boo took one stall and Karen had to take another a couple doors down. Karen kept calling out to make sure J Boo was okay. The exchange could be qualified as a MasterCard moment. (Keep in mind that J Boo has only one volume: LOUD. And there are other people in the restroom. And Karen is easily embarrassed.)
K: J Boo? Are you okay?
J: YEAH, I'M JUST PEE-YUN.
K: Ok. Are you done?
J: NO. NOW I HAFTA POOP!
K: Yes, J Boo?
J: I'M KINDA HAVING A HARD TIME. COULD YOU SING ME THE POOPING SONG?*
K: Um, I don't know that song, J Boo.
J: BUT MY MOM SINGS IT TO ME!
K: Well, I don't know it, so I can't sing it to you.
J (sighing loudly): FINE!
(Repeated sounds of grunting--LOUD grunting--eminate from J Boo's stall)
K (absolutely mortified by now and determined not to leave her own stall until the restroom is completely empty, answers cautiously): Yeeees?
J: DON'T I SOUND JUST LIKE A MAN?
*To see the pooping song, go here. Watch from 30:50 to 30:59.