Sunday, August 19, 2012

If I could have been a fly on the wall...

My sister, Karen, took J Boo to dinner a few weeks ago. They went to one of those buffet restaurants, increasing the likelihood that my child might find something that she will actually eat without complaint. Inevitably, J Boo decided she needed to use the restroom. (I know...another potty post, but I am who I am. Don't judge me.)

Karen escorted J Boo to the restroom, which was fairly busy--enough so that J Boo took one stall and Karen had to take another a couple doors down. Karen kept calling out to make sure J Boo was okay. The exchange could be qualified as a MasterCard moment. (Keep in mind that J Boo has only one volume: LOUD. And there are other people in the restroom. And Karen is easily embarrassed.)

K: J Boo? Are you okay?

J: YEAH, I'M JUST PEE-YUN.

K: Ok. Are you done?

J: NO. NOW I HAFTA POOP!

(Long pause)

J: KARENNNNN????

K: Yes, J Boo?

J: I'M KINDA HAVING A HARD TIME. COULD YOU SING ME THE POOPING SONG?*

K: Um, I don't know that song, J Boo.

J: BUT MY MOM SINGS IT TO ME!

K: Well, I don't know it, so I can't sing it to you.

J (sighing loudly): FINE!

(Repeated sounds of grunting--LOUD grunting--eminate from J Boo's stall)

J: KARENNNNNN????

K (absolutely mortified by now and determined not to leave her own stall until the restroom is completely empty, answers cautiously): Yeeees?

J: DON'T I SOUND JUST LIKE A MAN?



*To see the pooping song, go here. Watch from 30:50 to 30:59.

6 comments:

Melody said...

This is so far beyond awesome - I don't even know what to say.

"wait for it. . . wait for it. . ."

That child is my second favorite four-year-old in the world!

Geo said...

Why wasn't I in the next stall, with my recorder on?

Oh yeah, because I don't usually think of recording in public restrooms. But maybe I should start.

AWESOME.

Lyle said...

Priceless.

Tecia said...

LOL!! That is so funny. I wish to could have been there. She is so cute!!

I'm Shelley said...

Wow, this is my first time at your blog and this just made me laugh/snort because my oldest daughter, who is a sophomore in college, practically needed a vulcan mind meld in order to poop when she was little. Picture her on the toilet with me crouched in front of her, staring seriously into her eyes, murmuring, "it's okay honey, let the poops go, it's okay." HA!

Nicole said...

Absolute gem!!!