Friday, May 25, 2007


My pirate name is:

Mad Dog Cash

Part crazy, part mangy, all rabid, you're the pirate all the others fear might just snap soon. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from
part of the network

Yeah, I know it's been done before, but for some reason "Mad Dog Cash" strikes me as hilarious.

No more pencils, no more books....

Wanna see how I made it onto the "Coolest Mom" list today?

This is what I did to A-- before school this morning.

I must say it looks pretty awesome for an amateur do-it-yourself hairstylist like me. Of course, I had ulterior motives: I agreed to give him a mohawk for the last day of school if he'd let me buzz his hair for the summer.

His teacher wasn't pleased. She gave him a dirty look and made him comb it out before the final school assembly. So we redid it after school. I'm not sure which version I like better.....

Any votes, Sanjaya?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Exclusive Interview from Yours Truly

I know, I'm slow getting into the game. Azucar mailed me questions a month ago, but when I tried to post the answers, Blogger ate my brilliantly pithy composition. I haven't dared to try again until now. But here goes:

Tell me about your kids, how many do you have and what is one unique thing about each of them?

I have three boys: A--, S--, and T--. (Good thing we didn't name the third one something that started with an "S," eh?)

Let's start with A--, my oldest. He was born a lawyer. Seriously. From the time he could talk, he could debate until the cows came home and went back out to pasture. It's his favorite pastime. (Well, that and pestering his younger brother S--.) Not only that, he's really good at it because he's that smart. Being his parent is intellectually exhausting. He loves a good joke, is talented at making flatulent noises with his knees, and can be fun to talk to. A--'s personality is like an excellent salsa caliente: delightful and stimulating but with a kick to it that can bite you in the bee-hind if you don't watch out. And he plays a pretty good guitar for a beginner.

If I'm going to compare children to food, S-- would be like rich milk chocolate (the good kind): smooth and sweet. He is passionate about all things Lego. (His greatest ambition in life is to become a Lego set designer. I bet he'll do it, too, because he's that smart.) He plays violin but prefers fiddle music to classical music. He is the answer to my mother's prayer for a blond-haired brown-eyed grandchild. He is a sensitive, compassionate peacemaker. And everyone knows you can't have hot salsa without something chocolate to soothe the palate.

T-- is like a chocolate-covered cinnamon bear. He's sweet, but he has a surprising kick to him that you don't expect. His current passion is stealing my kitchen screwdriver and taking apart his toys. One toy was too noisy for his taste, so he took the screw out of the battery cover, removed the batteries to the trash can, and screwed the cover back on. "Look, Mommy! I fixed it!" He's a softy when he realizes he's hurt someone, but it doesn't stop him from playing hard. His favorite questions are, "What today is, Mom?" and "Where are we doh-ing?" He is darling.

What is your favorite music group of all time and have you ever see them in concert?

I can't say I have a favorite music group of all time. I love music, but I think my taste is a bit eclectic (eccentric, maybe?). I don't know if it says much for me that the only concerts I ever attended were Dan Fogelberg and The Nylons, both at BYU, and a few Voice Male concerts here locally.

I've played classical piano from the time I was four, so of course I have a love and appreciation for Mozart, Chopin, Bach, and Beethoven. I also like anything a capella, especially if the singers are male. (Barbershop quartets can be amazing--cheesy, yes, sometimes, but their harmony is incredible.) Some of my other favorites include Billy Joel, Huey Lewis, Dan Fogelberg, The Nylons, Voice Male, Inside Out, Manhattan Transfer, Elton John, the Proclaimers, Jim Brickman, Jon Schmidt (someday I want to be able to play "Waterfall" the whole way through--memorized), and David Lanz. I'm not a big fan of country music (too twangy for my taste). I try to be open to new music, so if anyone feels a burning need to enlighten me, go right ahead.

How did you know that your husband was The One? Did anything go 'wrong' on the wedding day?

Hoo boy, that is a question! My dad actually picked Phil out for me when I was in 8th grade. I knew nothing about it. Dad taught Phil in high school and was quite impressed with him. To make a very long story short, Phil and I were set up by my parents after many near meetings. I knew before I met him that something was going to happen, but I didn't know what. Our first date was a double with my parents. (Yes, you read that correctly.) I felt completely comfortable with him. It was like coming home after a long, hard day and putting on your favorite, most comfortable shoes. We were married 10 months later. We're going on 15 years this summer.

The only thing that went "wrong" on the wedding day was my forgetting my bouquet when we went to the temple. The only pictures I have of it were from the reception. Somehow, it doesn't bother me. Okay, wait. I remembered something else. Phil forgot his gift for the groomsman and went to get it right before the reception started. He was late getting back, and my brothers got endless joy out of teasing me about being a jilted bride.

Do you harbor a secret desire like being an artist, or a rockstar?

I used to want to be a model, an electrical engineer, and a concert pianist. Now, my secret desire is to have the means to hire a maid service. I hate cleaning my house.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Can I list more than one?

Inconsistency. It bugs me when people say one thing but do another. I don't deal well with hypocrites.

It bugs me when my clothes aren't folded just so. Drives me crazy.

Meanness. I get so upset when people are unkind. I had more than enough of being on the receiving end as a kid at school. There's not much I hate more than a bully. Cruel gossip is just bullying in another form.

Ahhhhh. That feels better. Thanks for the questions, Azucar. It was fun.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

May I help you?

So we went to the park the other night with our neighbors for a picnic dinner. It was a beautiful evening--not too hot, not too cold. The kids were having a blast playing on the slides and stuff. The adults were chatting and munching while keeping an eye on the kiddos. Our menu included sandwiches, watermelon, and some dill pickle potato chips. (Yes, really, they do taste quite good. No comments from the food critics, please.)

As we are talking, a young boy comes riding up on his bike. He can't be more than about 10 or 11. He stops his bike, climbs off, and starts prowling around our picnic blanket where we are all sitting. He circles like a shark, getting closer and closer, finally stopping next to me and Phil.

Phil: "Can we help you with something?"

Boy: "No. I want some chips. Can I have some of those chips?"

Phil: "No. But thanks for asking."

Boy: "Please? Can I please have some chips?"

He's standing so close to me that I could have pantsed the kid. I'm not comfortable.

Phil: "No, but thanks for asking."

Boy: "Please can I have some chips?"

Phil: "This is a private party. No."

Boy: "Pleeeeeeease?"

Phil ignores him. He climbs back on his bike and proceeds to say "Baby, baby, baby!" in a taunting voice to our neighbor's toddler who is in tears because of a minor fall. I wanted to smack him.

At last, he rides off.

What the hell was that? I was SO bugged. The kid wasn't starving. He obviously lived fairly close because he had a school t-shirt on proclaiming the name of the school next to the park where we were. Where were his parents? What kind of idiot kid walks up to a bunch of strangers (adults, no less) and asks for food? Hello?!?!?!? I should have told him, "We peed all over these chips. Still want some? How about a poopy diaper to dip them in?" The kid would probably have accepted, just so he could have some of those chips.

On a lighter note, my 3-year-old son proclaimed, loudly and repeatedly, while swinging, "Well-tum! Well-tum to da Wal Mart!"

Now you all know where he likes to shop.

Monday, May 07, 2007

A Star is Born

From this....

To this....

To this....

Then this....

To this....

A first birthday....

And now an 11th birthday....

We've come a long way, baby boy.

But you are worth every minute!

Happy Birthday, Stinkerpants!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

The Name Game

There are 525,100 people in the U.S. with the first name Julie.

Statistically, Julie is the 101st most popular first name.

More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Julie are female. (Gee, that's a surprise.)

There are 37 people in the U.S. who share my exact maiden name, but only 4 people who share my exact married name. (Wow. How special am I?)

Wanna play?

Friday, May 04, 2007

New Game

After a long, yet satisfying, day at Women's Conference, I was brought abruptly back to reality when I overheard S & T playing a new game tonight:

S: "Let's pretend the sleeping bags are worms. The worms will eat us and then we'll come out the other end like poop!"

T: "Oh-tay! We be POOP!"