Thursday, May 17, 2007

May I help you?

So we went to the park the other night with our neighbors for a picnic dinner. It was a beautiful evening--not too hot, not too cold. The kids were having a blast playing on the slides and stuff. The adults were chatting and munching while keeping an eye on the kiddos. Our menu included sandwiches, watermelon, and some dill pickle potato chips. (Yes, really, they do taste quite good. No comments from the food critics, please.)

As we are talking, a young boy comes riding up on his bike. He can't be more than about 10 or 11. He stops his bike, climbs off, and starts prowling around our picnic blanket where we are all sitting. He circles like a shark, getting closer and closer, finally stopping next to me and Phil.

Phil: "Can we help you with something?"

Boy: "No. I want some chips. Can I have some of those chips?"

Phil: "No. But thanks for asking."

Boy: "Please? Can I please have some chips?"

He's standing so close to me that I could have pantsed the kid. I'm not comfortable.

Phil: "No, but thanks for asking."

Boy: "Please can I have some chips?"

Phil: "This is a private party. No."

Boy: "Pleeeeeeease?"

Phil ignores him. He climbs back on his bike and proceeds to say "Baby, baby, baby!" in a taunting voice to our neighbor's toddler who is in tears because of a minor fall. I wanted to smack him.

At last, he rides off.

What the hell was that? I was SO bugged. The kid wasn't starving. He obviously lived fairly close because he had a school t-shirt on proclaiming the name of the school next to the park where we were. Where were his parents? What kind of idiot kid walks up to a bunch of strangers (adults, no less) and asks for food? Hello?!?!?!? I should have told him, "We peed all over these chips. Still want some? How about a poopy diaper to dip them in?" The kid would probably have accepted, just so he could have some of those chips.

On a lighter note, my 3-year-old son proclaimed, loudly and repeatedly, while swinging, "Well-tum! Well-tum to da Wal Mart!"

Now you all know where he likes to shop.


AttemptingthePath said...

I hate obnoxious kids so freaking much.

In other news, how's life Julie?

becks said...

oh man, how annoying! you should have pantsed him. hahaha. where did he learn that kind of behavior?

Skewedview said...

I love pickle chips. Were they Lay's? What you could have done was smiled at the kid, reached into the bag of chips and handed him ONE. Thats all, just one. Call me crazy, but I know how great those chips are and that would have driven him insane. Then you could show him the bag and told him to tell his mother to buy his very own bag. Good-bye.

~cari~ said...

Sounds like one of my neighbor's kids! How annoying!

"Well-tum to da Wal-Mart!" -- very cute!

Kengo Biddles said...

Ye gods! May I be drug out and shot if my child is so spastic!

Carrotjello said...

You'd better be careful. He could have been one of the Three Nephites, and was just there to test how you'd react. ;)

Elizabeth-W said...

Carrot LOL!!!
I was thinking you could just offer him one, and then say, That'll be 50 cents, please.

Angela said...

Well I came to express my "Oh my gosh" of shock at this behavior but it's quickly turned to "oh my gosh" of hysterical laughter at Carrot's suggestion. Too dang funny.

I would be HORRIFIED if my 5 year old child ever behaved like that, let alone 9 or 10.

So, if a cute little redhaired boy ever approaches your picnic blanket and hounds you for a dill pickle chip, give him one in exchange for his address and then whip him all the way home so you can tell me what he's done. Yowzas.

Well-tum to da Walmart is hilarious. You never know what kind of stuff is sinking in. My son yells "Pizza Man's HERE!" everytime someone knocks on our front door because we never use the front door. But the Pizza Man does...

Geo said...

Respect for boundaries = a dying art. Entitlement and bullying seem to be on the rise in this Wal-Mart world.

compulsive writer said...

Are you sure it wasn't my kid?

No, seriously, the other day I took my kids to Nickelcade (I hate that place, by the way) and these little urchin kids came up and kept asking me for nickels. I was so surprised. "Um, no. These nickels are for my own kids. Thank you."

pflower10 said...


you should look through the yearbook to see if you can ID the creepy kid. What did he look like?


The Daredevil Mom said...

Wow, that's really something. I probably would have said, "if you're hungry, go home and eat." Not very charitable, am I?

In light of this, I guess I should no longer be surprised that so many kids pass by my kids' Lemonade Stand and yell, "Why won't you give me a free lemonade? It's not fair!"

Queen Scarlett said...

I agree... what the hell?

We need etiquette schools...for parents...clearly that kid didn't learn anything useful from his.

Julie said...

ATP: Life's fine. Thanks for asking. So if I ever see you at your local religious bookstore, can I be obnoxious just for your benefit?

Becks: Who knows. But he was really annoying.

Skewedview: Of course. Lay's pickle chips are the best! But I wouldn't have sacrificed even just one for this kid. What a brat.

~cari~: You said it. I'm sorry you have to have one of those kind of kids for a neighbor.

Kengo: I doubt you'll ever face the firing squad.

Carrotjello: I guess I'm bound for hell then. But your identification of the child as one of the three Nephites made me snort. (excuse me while I wipe the boogers off my screen....)

Elizabeth: Ooooh that would have been a great idea. Can I demand money from all the obnoxious people I have to deal with?

Angela: we all know what you prefer to do when you don't want to cook. ;-)

Geo: I love how you combined the entitled child-stranger with my Wal-Mart ending. Perfect.

Compulsive: It was absolutely not your kid. When I tell your kid "no," he listens and says "okay" and is very nice about it. This kid didn't do that at all. At least he didn't ask for money. (I can't believe you had kids asking you for money! Where are the parents? Sheesh!)

Peef: It wasn't a kid from our school. It was a school in Orem. But we've got that type of kid at our school too.

Daredevil: Yeah, I'm not too charitable that way either.

Queen Scarlett: You said it.

Anonymous said...

bizarre what he did. i would've been so ticked if my teens ever did that. (but then we never let our girls out and about ALONE and unsupervised that young, we watched them like hawks, they didn't like us for it, but they are safe and well, thank you very much.) :)

~tootles, kathleen :)