Monday, March 20, 2006

Ode to Spring

Spring has sprung
The grass is riz'
I wonder what
This white stuff is?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

When What to My Wondering Eyes Should Appear...

Last month I traveled to Salt Lake City with some sisters in my ward to attend the new Legacy Theater movie about Joseph Smith. It was a nice drive, and the movie was very well done. We drove home on a spiritual high, discussing various aspects of the film. Then I saw it.

The truck in front of us had some strange appendages attached to the trailer hitch. I couldn't figure out what they were or the purpose they might serve, but I turned to Lorien, who was driving, and pointed it out.

"Does that look like what I think it is?"


"That truck there. It looks like it has a package on the trailer hitch."

Sure enough: someone had masculated their truck with what appeared to be metallic testicles. Now I can understand the whole fuzzy dice from the mirror, hula dancers on the dash board, and even the peeing Calvin sticker, but a fake scrotum? Puh-lease! It's bad enough when men put risers in their truck or buy really big pickups to assert their manhood, but must we put male body parts on the bumper?

I suppose it correlates somehow with that whole bra thing that used to be popular on cars. (Maybe it still is popular, but I wouldn't know--cars are colors to me.) At least the bra is merely an item of clothing, although an intimate piece of apparel at that. Perhaps I should seek out this truck and put a jock strap on it. I mean, this person is obviously seeking approval & support for something. No need to put the family jewels in jeopardy on a road with all those aggressive drivers asserting their manhood, right? Maybe a cup would be a better idea....