Lunch for Today

Courtesy of Azúcar. I didn't get to meet all of those who were there (opposite ends of the long table and all that), and many escaped before I got pictures, but here's proof that I actually showed up:




What a lovely group of ladies. Thanks for the invite, Azúcar!

Hazmat Haircut

Remember this?

T--, the 2-year-old in the story, is now four. He still hates haircuts. Phil, ever mindful of the missionary skill of resolving concerns, came up with the solution.


T--'s concerns: 1. He hates it when the hair falls in his eyes, and 2. He hates hair in his mouth.


Of course, I figured if he'd just calm down and not scream both problems would be solved. My resolution hasn't yet worked. Apparently, success means having the ability to relax during torture.



But if you give a man/kid the right tools, he can do anything. This last haircut, we had the best haircutting experience ever in T--'s lifetime. Don't believe me? Here's proof:










Give the kid goggles and a face mask and he can survive the worst torture his mother can dream up. Do you think we're prepared for a nuclear attack?

What's in a name?

Apparently, a lot--but only if you're a girl.


When I was pregnant with my sons, we would get the "have you picked a name" question as soon as people found out we were having a boy. Except for A--, whose name we picked out within a week of finding out he wasn't a girl, the other two didn't have names until about 2 weeks before they were born. When we told people that we didn't have a name picked out quite yet, they would respond with something like, "Oh, okay." Nothing else.


The responses have changed dramatically this time.


I should have clued in at Thanksgiving when we told my family (at least those who didn't check their e-mail) that we were, indeed, having a girl.



"So, have you picked a name yet?"

"Well, nothing's set in stone yet. We have one we've liked for a long time, but we're not positive that we'll use it."



I should have just said, "Yes, and we're not telling."



We were suddenly inundated with a flood of girl names. I didn't like even one. Each time I said, "Ummm, I don't think that one would work," we'd get even more. It was like some contest to come up with something bigger, better, trendier--we have to name this child NOW, before the pumpkin pie is served! Her parents are obviously incapable of coming up with a suitable name, so we MUST take over!

I couldn't believe it. My family has never weighed in so heavily on a name.



Now, I'm more of a traditionalist when it comes to picking names. The cutesy, trendy, McWhatsit type of names are just not for me. And we have to be careful with our last name, something I assumed my siblings were cognizant of. (We can't use Rob, Robert, Robin, or anything that is synonymous or that could be derived into something synonymous with thievery or dishonesty. If you know my last name, you'll understand why.) So when one brother suggested Maya, I couldn't believe it. Maya? Am-I-a (insert our last name here)? No. Absolutely not. Then we got trendy name after trendy name after trendy name. I had no idea my siblings were so into pop culture names. When I tried to stem the flow by hesitantly suggesting the name we've had picked out for a girl since we knew A-- was coming, we got a stony silence, followed by more suggestions. (sigh) I know that girls are a rarity in my family, so I could chalk it up to the novelty, but my hell. If you like these names so much, use them for yourselves or save them for your grandchildren!



I thought perhaps this was an isolated incident.

Not so. I mentioned to a girl who used to be one of my Young Women, who asked the name question, that we sort of had a name but nothing certain yet, and she did it too, along with more than one of my current Young Women. Granted, the names they were suggesting were somewhat more in line with my traditional taste, but my goodness! I never once got suggestions for names when I was expecting my boys.





Isn't the naming of a child sort of a personal thing? A right reserved for the parents? I never give suggestions for names unless I am asked specifically to do so, and then I usually loan out my favorite baby name books. But when people find out I'm having a girl after three boys, I get suggestions I never asked for. (Granted, not everyone has responded that way. But I'm shocked at how many people have.)


Perhaps I should come up with a really awful name to tell them and watch the shocked expressions on their faces. Maybe that would stem the flow. I know! I could resort to the name we joked about giving one of our boys.....





Jack Ashby
(It's almost as good as Jack Schitt.)

Random things overheard at my house

When S-- saw the printed ultrasound picture of the baby's spine (he didn't attend the ultrasound with the rest of us), he said:

"It looks like a lizard.....Are we having a lizard?!?!?"




At random times during the day, especially if he is displeased with one of us, T-- will declare, pointing his little finger forcibly at the offender:

"You're FIRED!"

I have no idea where he heard it or how he knows to use it so appropriately, but it sounds awfully funny coming from a four-year-old. (And if I comb his hair just right, he has that Trump do to go with it.)




The night before the ultrasound, as we were getting ready for bed, I mentioned to Phil that it was a good thing we'd left the boys' alarm clock on since it would get them up and ready to leave right when we needed to.

Me: "If they're already up and going, it won't be a problem to be out the door by 8:30."

Phil: "Why would we need to be out the door by 8:30?"

Me (looking incredulously at him, trying to decide if he was teasing and realizing he wasn't): "Are you SERIOUS?!?!?"

Phil: "Huh? ........ OH. Yeah. I forgot about that."

I nearly threw my wet washcloth at him.