The BEST Momsong EVER

I've seen the second half of this song, but thanks to my dear cousin, I now have the whole thing. I absolutely love it! I wish I could talk that fast.

Stooopid Product and a Recipe

Stainless-Steel Knorks

The convenience of a fork and the function of a knife in one simple and safe utensil! Set of 2 durable, stainless-steel knorks feature a 4-pronged fork with a built-in knife on the side. Great for everyday use or for travel, and offers a safe alternative to knives for young children! Dishwasher safe. $12.98

Does anyone see any problems with this?

I already use the side of my fork as a knife if the food is tender enough.

Why would I want "a built-in knife on the side"? Won't I cut my tongue on it?

How can putting a knife in your mouth be "a safe alternative....for young children"?

I'm just sayin.'

And because Pflower's husband and the G-man requested it, here's the recipe for the "freakin' amazing" potato salad (their words, not mine), exactly as I made it (happy now, Lo?). You could eat it with a knork.

Potato Salad

9-12 medium sized, new red potatoes, peeled, cubed, and boiled just until tender (about 30 minutes, but check them at 20)
9 eggs, hard-boiled, chopped
2-3 tablespoons of onion powder (because I can't eat raw onions)
3/4 C dill pickle relish
3 tsp salt
3/8 tsp pepper
1 C light mayonnaise
2 1/4 C prepared Ranch dressing (I used Kraft Buttermilk Ranch)
3 tablespoons prepared mustard
Real bacon bits (about 3/4 cup, I think--just eyeball it until it looks good)

While the eggs are boiling, start peeling and cubing the potatoes. Put them in a large stock pot. Cover the potatoes with water (about an inch over the top of the potatoes) and put on to boil. By the time you finish with the potatoes, the eggs should be done.

While the potatoes cook, peel the eggs and chop them up into a large bowl. Add the remaining ingredients.

When the potatoes are tender (but not mushy--don't overcook them), drain the water and add them to the rest of the ingredients while they are still hot. Warm potatoes absorb the flavor of the dressing better.

Mix all the ingredients thoroughly. Cover and refrigerate until serving time (the longer the better).

NOTE: You could add 3 small onions or 18 green onions, chopped, if you prefer real onions to onion powder. If you like the crunch of celery in potato salad (and I don't), you can add 6 stalks of celery, chopped. (Of course, if you do either of these things, it won't be exactly the same way I made it the other night.)

The Stuff of Nightmares

This is a true story. It happened to some friends of ours. (I have removed the names in order to protect the guilty parties, but I have left the story exactly as it was told to us.)

Saturday morning, Young Daughter comes up to her mother and says:

"I heard a funny noise in your room this morning. I couldn't hear it very well so I put my ear up to your door so I could hear it better. It sounded like EEEE eee EEEE eee EEEE eee EEEE eee EEEE eee EEEE eee EEEE eee EEEE. What was making that noise?"

Mother told her maybe it was a mouse.

Better set a bigger mousetrap.

Etymology

At Sunday dinner tonight, my brother was telling A-- that he needed a haircut.

"You're starting to look like a hippie." (This from the brother who shaves his head and grows a goatee just so he can look intimidating.)

S-- asks, "What does 'hippie' mean? ......."













"Is it short for 'hypocrite'?"





Ah, my child. Wisdom beyond your years....